A Sour Familiarity

The above topic…Narcissistic Parent Versus Loving Parent. Good points…we have to put it in perspective given that we’re grandparents but we could also apply this to our parenting. Our grandchild has the right to her grandmothers (both of us). I do not expect to be apart of decision making as she is my grandchild, not my child and I choose to respect her mama’s rules as I want my own rules to be respected (but can she and has she respected my rules when she had time with my children?? Unsure. Perhaps she is worried I will do as she has done and denigrate the child in front of her, tough to say and just a guess at best. I am capable of admitting my wrongs. I have NO memory of her ever being able to nor saying she was “sorry” for anything. It has to be altered to fit our situation as you can see…but it’s the type of parent I strive to be…a LOVING PARENT. Also, you can’t just throw money at kids…they need our love and our PRESENCE…. In the end, this is all my fault, anyway. I allowed this, you see. I didn’t want to complain so I would allow them free reign over me to say and do pretty much whatever they want. My first husband tried to point it out to me but I figured he’s controlling and abusive so I couldn’t really trust what he was saying stuff like, “you know your mom and sister only come over here to see the girls…they don’t care about you.” Why would a controlling, abusive person want anyone else horning in on their deal? So I didn’t listen. My friends and 2nd husband finally were good about helping me see and I’m glad they did…it turned out to be true.
*I will say, financially (in the past), she always tried to help me. I can say that. Absolutely. Not all of these apply to be sure..but some have an awfully sour familiarity. These past few years have been quite the challenge. From dealing with health issues (getting care, etc) to being harassed out of a job I’d long worked so hard for due to said health issues to missing my addicted daughter and having no idea where she could be. Apparently, the person I once trusted MOST felt it best to choose THIS time to keep from me our grandchild. I can’t imagine kicking someone when they’re down like this…knowingly. I just can’t imagine it. Instead, I got chastised for not being there more for HER. I got scolded and asked why I hadn’t sent her any money. If I had money to send, trust when I say it would’ve been hers. But starting out at 15.00 per hour as a single mother didn’t leave me in a good place money wise. I took grandbaby whenever she could let me, whenever I could. It was just never enough in her eyes.
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