I know some out there will ask, why am I sharing this with the world. I understand that thought. Perhaps for you, you’d rather keep things to yourself and I respect that-for me, I must air it to let it go. Recently, their gloves came off–so now, I am taking off mine.
I am not ashamed of anything. On the other hand, I am sorry for my own part in the whole thing. It just IS. It’s part of my life and I accept that. To move forward, I want to air it ALL so that I can fully appreciate letting it go. I will get it out of my system and then some of my notes will turn to other topics. It just feels good to get it out! I couldn’t get a word in edgewise with Harpy 1 and Harpy 2 tries to present a neutral front, but reality is she could very well be the cause of a lot of this. I couldn’t tell her the things I wanted to, the things I needed to…she has completely shut down and something else has taken over. It saddened me…I learned she isn’t my mother anymore. I knew it was a long time coming, though. I never did fit in with either of them. I do not search for or need pity, though. I have many-many around me who truly do love me. I am a blessed woman who is grateful for a vast much, I assure you. I just must get this out. I doubt anyone will read it anyway…but it’s my side.
I came across a blog called, “Understanding and Healing for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.” I talks about the Scapegoat and the Goldenchild and wow was that a wallop to the mind and heart…
The person says, “It’s very common for Narcissistic Mothers to have a Golden Child and Scapegoat dynamic going on in their family.
What this means is this: one child in the family is the Golden Child, and one or more is the Scapegoat.
The Golden Child, as the name suggests, is the best and most wonderful child – at least in the eyes of the Narcissistic Mother. It seems to be that the Narcissistic Mother picks the Golden Child to be an extension of herself, onto whom she projects all her own supposed wonderfulness.
The Golden Child can do no wrong. She gets given the best of everything – perhaps even apartments or houses bought for her. Her most minor achievements are celebrated and held up for admiration. Her misdemeanours are glossed over and ignored.
The Scapegoat on the other hand is, also as the name suggests, the person on whom all the ills of the family are projected. They can do no right. Their major achievements are dismissed. Any money spent on them is the bare minimum and is spent begrudgingly.”
What a wonderful blog I highly recommend!