I think we all encounter parts in our lives where we must ask ourselves, “is this how I want to live my life?”
As for my mother, she made her bed and now she must lay in it. The fix is hers and hers alone but it includes accountability, apologizing to the one you’ve wronged and finally, forgiving herself. You can’t skip the first two, though. Doesn’t work that way.
Mom, if you are upset your grandchildren do not contact you or “respect” you then consider how you’ve treated their mother and how you’ve carried yourself. Consider your relationship with each of them and how that has altered through the years.
Years ago when the eldest was grown, you ceased interacting with them. You don’t think they noticed that? You don’t think they look back on every situation they saw and drew their own conclusions? Grandma coming to the house and screaming at mom over a car, grandma screaming at mom through her phone..grandma doesn’t pick us up anymore..grandma doesn’t visit anymore..where is our niece, why doesn’t grandma let her come see us anymore? Children can’t stay young and ignorant forever and before you know it, they start to look back. They witnessed some things you did, for themselves. I tried. I did. I would rather my children understand that their mother’s issues with her mother are not their mother’s issues with their grandmother. I’d like them to have a relationship with you and offer you kindness and love…but as my eldest son just said is he’d rather message his other grandma because “she likes him.”
In the end, they are their own people, though and at some point you got to try to quit blaming me for everything under the sun.
F inally, maybe the concept of the fact that some kids feel a sense of loyalty to their parents. They weren’t the favored grandchild anyway so it makes sense they wouldn’t feel as close. The cat is already out of the bag and it has been for the past year so there’s no point in me sugar coating anything anymore. I wasn’t the favored kid so I guess we’ve much in common.