What’s next for this Rosie?

In the late summer, early fall of 2007 I embarked on a journey career wise. I’d been a stay at home parent for some time, but family issues at home commanded a change to be made so I began to seek work outside the home landing myself a job with Mordor in October of 2007. It was a lot of hard work. The classes were extensive, the projects grueling and the pace was go, go, go but I did it and I’d never so much as picked up a drill motor before that. It seemed crazy to be doing this kind of work at 30 something, yet there I was, learning airplane plumbing, mechanics, electrical, etc. You had in class learning, online learning, project learning/completion and you had to earn so many points per project to pass.

After a few months, I got assigned to the airplane program for which they’d hired me. I was to be a jack of all trades AND a master of all. Now, most realize this isn’t possible but trust when I say, the company still expected it.

Within just days of meeting my new supervisor and co-workers I realized that there was no organization to this program. No bar line, no clear assignments, no nothing! I’d worked for this same company some years prior in a different job code, this didn’t even feel like that company at all. We just got handed odd jobs here and there, it was frustrating. There were times the supervisor would tell you to “just hide somewhere…” it was awful because really, you wanted to work! Let’s face it, days go by a lot faster if you do. Plus, we were all eager to prove ourselves.

Within a few months of being on that airplane program, myself and many others got transferred to one of the legacy programs. Before I left, my team lead would say “if by some act of GOD they give you a choice of electrician, mechanic or plumber–choose electrician!” Thought that was odd, but I figured regardless of his meaning, the advice was sound. Mechanics is tough on a person.

Apparently, it was one legacy worker for every 2 or 3 of us. Initially, they wouldn’t allow legacy workers to work that program but they came to realize that it was to the detriment of that program because ALL new people on an ALL new program was not the best idea.

So, there I was in training- again. A few more months meant many more classes and many more projects. During this time, my father was having his surgery to repair an extensive hernia and would end up staying in the hospital 6 weeks. Tough not being able to be there for him, but the doctors called me to keep me updated.

During training, they put me through all the training they could to see where I’d best fit in. Countersinking was my arch enemy! I could drill a perfect hole..but I couldn’t countersink to save my life. I was told that while I could be a mechanic, they were going to give me a choice of electrician or mechanic. I about fell on the floor! I quickly sputtered out, “uh..electrician!” I knew me and I knew I didn’t want to short change my kids so I demanded 1st shift otherwise I couldn’t stay. A call was put in and a 1st shift position was located on the program of what was to become my most favorite airplane of all time, the queen herself. I’d get to enter her world and help put her together and I couldn’t have been more excited. I adored my job, I really did. Wiring airplanes is no easy task despite what some may claim. Each job has it’s own degree of challenges, but I truly adored my job.

When I got to my new shop, a lot of the folks weren’t happy to see me. See, they’d had to say farewell to their co-workers being sent or volunteering to go to that other program and I was to take their place. With time though, I managed to make friends with a few and did the best I could. During that time the strike started, my separation with my then husband, issues with my then teen eldest daughter, a gall bladder gone bad and car accident mind you-I did my best through all of that!

Finally, by 2012 when I got diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, fibromyalgia and anxiety and from there it really was all downhill. As time went on, I got harassed more and more to the point where I messed up some of my leave paperwork and was fired and chose not to fight it via the union. I figured for my own health’s sake, I needed to go. That place was going to kill me if I stayed. The toxic environment increased my pain level. It was a vicious circle of going on leave, getting treatment, getting well, getting back to work, getting harassed, pain increasing, going back on leave. It was never going to end well, I just couldn’t bring myself to quit after all that hard work and I have a family to consider in all of this.

So here I am at home. Looking out for my sweetie, my children (one special needs), my dad, my eldest adult daughter, her b/f and their child.

Recently, I had to take my youngest two children with me to an appointment with my lawyer and subsequently was sent this sweet message in my e-mail about Aiden and Lauren. “You have two very well behaved and bright children. I have a feeling that you will be spending more time at the library. At 3 years old, Lauren is very advanced. She told me all about the characters in Frozen while you were out with Aiden and she named me Rosie!! My niece was really into reading when she was young. I think this benefitted her when she took her SATs in high school—she scored a perfect score in the reading comprehension. Your children are fortunate to have you at home to guide and teach them!!”

I had taken Aiden potty and I guess while we were gone, Lauren had named her Rosie, lol. So, given my aerospace past, I am Rosie the Riveter…but my sweet lawyer gets to be Rosie the lawyer! Quite adorable. I truly am so very proud of ALL of my children! They are each such wonderful, good hearted people. I can rest easy knowing that evil that seems to have plagued part of my family WILL NOT pass on to them..and I couldn’t be more thankful. Their hearts are loving. They are good people. I thank God everyday because that’s really all I wanted for them. They don’t need to be doctors, lawyers or any of that…they got what counts.

Oddly, I’d always wanted to do something in the field of law…from childhood, I always did so perhaps there’s a glimmer there. Rosie the lawyer?

*Mordor is a code name for my employer.

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Bad hair day? More like bad flare day!

Originally written: Feb. 14, 2017

I don’t know what has happened, but I got a flare coming on. Been in pain starting last night and all day today. I had forgotten some medications for a day but didn’t think it’d make that big of a difference. Wow, was I wrong. Either that or the strength of the flare outweighs the weenie meds they prescribe now. All I could do was crawl downstairs and lay on the couch for a bit. Two of the dogs ran over and laid with me, which helped. Never discount the therapeutic gifts of a sweet fuzzy family member. I had to rest up a bit today. Can’t run myself too ragged. Just one of those days…we’ll see what tomorrow brings.

psoriaticdisease

How it has to be

I got diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis in early 2012, fibromyalgia and anxiety not long after. With time, I came to realize the more stress I was under, the worse my pain. When I was still working for Mordor (it’s a cute name I’ve given my previous employer), they were harassing me pretty badly and there were a few times when it got so bad that my back would spasm. When it would do that, I couldn’t sit upright and the pain was so awful that the only way I can illustrate it is to say it felt like a doctor was doing an epidural and messing up REALLY. REALLY. Badly! NEUROLOGY, NEUROLOGY!

Once I was no longer working for them, I saw some improvement in some of the pain. Enter my mother…a source of pain and I found that trying to compromise and appease her also caused me physical pain. I had to limit how much interaction there was and as time went on, this wasn’t difficult because once I was of no use to her she didn’t contact me much anyway. Once CPS was no longer involved in our grandchild’s case and she’d adopted our grandchild, she began keeping the grandchild from us and trying to confront her too much would’ve cost me quite a lot and each day, I had (still have as I type this) children to take care of–a father–my eldest daughter and her b/f and their child. I just had to be careful how very much I took on.

At this point, I’d really rather have people around me who love me and look for what’s right about me rather than what all is wrong with me. Having those around me capable of understanding my health situation and feeling compassion doesn’t hurt either.  I don’t mind looking at what’s wrong and working on those things, but I finally accept that there are those that prefer to see what’s wrong with you to a point where they’ll even make things up in their mind to justify their negative thought patterns. Crazy how some folks will believe anything negative ever spoken about you, but the moment the person hears something positive about you, they discount it as lie.

Being denied my grandchild was the final straw. After years of crap…horrible stuff, really…this was the final straw.